Going Back to Work After Baby - Part I

Over the course of 7 months, I have been on several interviews (at least 15), applied to 50+ jobs, and met with 2 recruiters.  I scoured job posting websites, both nationally and locally, stalked former coworkers for leads, and wallowed in my job search woes.

And then one day I got a phone call that brought a job offer.

And I cried.

Not tears of joy, but tears of sorrow.

Tears that I would soon be leaving my sweet baby boy after 5.5 months together.  Tears that my former supervisor replaced me on maternity leave and that I was even in this predicament.  Tears that I would experience a "first day" for the first time in 5 years.  Tears that I might not be good enough or might not do a decent job.  Tears that I might not be liked.  

[and like any rational person, I ran to my computer to email two of my favorite working mommy bloggers and beg for help - Kelly from Mrs. in Training and Lindsay from Baby Mama Drama - therapy, I tell ya]

Then I remembered a quote that I read at some point that went a little like this:

"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Guys, I'm scared.  Terrified, even.  But I'm jumping off the pity party bus and determined to kick ass at this new job.  Never again will I stay 5 years (and who knows how much longer I would've stayed if I could!) at a job where I am unappreciated and treated poorly.  Never again will I work somewhere that guilts me for taking a sick day or utilizing my maternity leave.

Best of all, I've worked with my new supervisor before and LOVED it.  I will have my own office with blinds and a locking door (and plan to do a breastfeeding for working moms post later) and a boss that said "this is your office, you can do what you want".  I will get HUMAN interaction with students and parents and coworkers and not stare at my computer screens all day long.  While those are wonderful perks, the main reasons I went back to work are:

1. MONEY.  My husband makes enough for us to survive, but I want to be able to purchase whatever Carter needs, worry free.  I never want him to know what it's like to worry about money like I did growing up.  I remember once my mom saying to me "I can either pay your dentist bill or Christmas this year, you decide." My Mom did the best she could as a single mother, but I don't want Carter to go through that if I can help it.

2. IDENTITY.  I've always been a career woman with dreams of someday being a stay-at-home mom.  I didn't get two finance degrees and a MBA for nothing.  I am a work-a-holic and crave the satisfaction that work can give.  I would love to be a SAHM if we have another child, but it's not in the cards right now.  Being a SAHM is MUCH more difficult than any office job, so this just might be easier in some regards, and I'm not afraid to admit it.

Am I sad to be leaving Carter? YES. I am heartbroken.  I love him with every ounce of my being.  Am I excited for what the future has in store for him?  YES.  Stay tuned for Part II where I explain why I am putting my son in daycare.

Side note:  This post might not even make sense, excuse me if that is the case.  My posts are few and far between lately as I get into through this transition.  Also, I have a screaming baby to tend to, so see ya next time!

Chocolate Chip Cornbread Cookies

Say what?

Cornbread + chocolate chip cookies?

Weird combination.

Surprisingly delicious combination.

One that was born when I decided I wanted to use up some of the leftover cornmeal I'd bought a week or two ago when I made cornbread.

Enjoy... maybe for breakfast even, just sayin'.

Chocolate Chip Cornbread Cookies

[Adapted from this recipe]

3/4 cup butter, softened (We buy Smart Balance Light Buttery Spread with EVOO)

1 egg

1/4 cup milk

1/2 cup plain yellow cornmeal

1/4 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

1/2 teaspoon salt

2/3 cup sugar

1 1/2 cup flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon vanilla

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. (Fun Fact: I know I'm a grown-up now because I preheat my oven - I used to just stick my food in there and add a few minutes to the time).

2.  Soften your butter in the microwave using 10 second intervals.

3. Mix all ingredients together until moist.

4. Drop by teaspoonful (or larger if you're like me) on a greased baking sheet.  I ended up with 12 cookies.

5. Bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees.

These cookies will only be slightly browned on the bottom and will be somewhat soft.  If you'd like a crunchier cookie, try leaving them in another 5 minutes.

Jumping on the Meal Planning Bandwagon

I used to be one of those grocery shoppers that would hit up Wal-Mart every two weeks only to walk the aisles aimlessly, (usually hungry), throwing whatever looked good and was semi-healthy into the cart.  This amounted to lots of instant rice, pasta, and low-cal microwavable dinners.  Anyone else have the same strategy?  I didn't realize how much processed food I was consuming (um, everything!) and that while cooking from "scratch" was more time consuming, it actually costed less.  My aimless grocery shopping got me through undergrad and grad school, so I can't hate on it too much, but now that I have a family, I decided it was time to make a change.

I started off slowly by planning a few days in advance and just keeping a note on the refrigerator with my "ideas".  These ideas started off with things like Monday: Hamburger Helper; Tuesday: Spaghetti; Wednesday: Pizza.  Like I said, I started slow.

Now, my menu looks more like this:

(Excuse my Mariah Carey-esque butterfly magnet and ugly handwriting, I'm a mom now, ok?)

The page numbers next to each meal correspond to one of our cookbooks.  I found that after trying out too many less-than-desirable blog recipes (no offense), it was easier to stick to an old-fashioned cookbook.  I still use the internet (Yummly is the best!) when I want something incredibly specific, though.  We still have our fair share of straight-to-the-trash recipes (ahem, Monday's soup), but we've gotten better at looking at a recipe's ingredients and preparation methods instead of just judging it by the title.  This method works great because I take one day a week (usually Sunday) to go through the recipes and jot down a grocery list for things that we don't already have to complete the recipes.  Then we head to Wal-Mart (last weekend it was after church) and grab what we need.  Last week we spent ~$100, but it included paper products that should last us about two weeks, so I'd say we were under $100, which I consider a success.  If I need anything fresh for a meal towards the end of the week, we will just run by our local Kroger to grab it that day since Wal-Mart is 15 minutes away.

Cooking healthy and affordable meals gives me a sense of purpose while I am a stay-at-home mom and also something to look forward to each week.

I'm glad I jumped on the meal planning bandwagon and I'm secretly kicking myself for not doing it earlier!

Body After Baby - Recovery (Part III)

Hello, friends!  Just a quick update since I haven't posted in a while. We currently have a sick little one and I'm trying to give him as many snuggles as possible. He was allowed to sleep in the swing last night just so that he could remain upright.  These supplies are coming in handy as well:

I have to say the first time your baby gets sick is when you know true heartbreak.  I have been holding back tears every time he lets out a hoarse cough or cries in pain.  He has still managed to smile and giggle throughout the day, despite how awful he feels.  Poor doll.

 

Some of my most popular posts are my Body After Baby series (Part I and Part II). At 4.5 months postpartum, it's time for an update!

I'm happy to say my baby weight is long gone and I am down 6 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. I still have LOTS of toning to do, but don't have a gym membership yet so haven't even gotten started. I am one of those people that can only truly work out in the gym. No at-home or outdoor workouts for me. It's an irrational mental thing that I need to get over.

Here is a photo I hastily took in the bathroom before heading to an interview (yep, still job searching). By the way, this could probably be its own post, but Victorias's Secret has pretty decent suits. They fit like a dream.  I am wearing a skirt from one of my suits in this photo. I would equate their quality to Express or maybe a bit better. Take a look if you're searching for professional wear. 

I would say I'm fully recovered at this point. Just need to find something to minimize my huge c-section scar and I'll be set. 

Have a great weekend!

Kidproofing: Floors

We had a great weekend over here. It consisted of visits with good friends, Olive Garden, froyo, church, lounging, and our first step in Kidproofing:

We even moved furniture to shampoo our carpets! 2+ years, 3 roommates, 4 dogs (not all mine!), and a cat since the last cleaning... yuck. I hope we don't have to stay at this place much longer, but the thought of Carter learning to crawl on disgusting carpets made me purchase a Hoover SteamVac.  We purchased it for about $150 (free shipping) from Walmart.com.  I'm not sure how much those RugDoctor thingy-ma-bobs cost to rent, but I figured in the long run it would be good for spot cleaning, rugs, upholstery, etc.  I actually put the thing together so obviously it wasn't very difficult to assemble.  The water tank didn't need to be emptied very frequently which is a plus, and the carpets only took a few hours to dry. While I don't see a huge difference in the appearance of the carpet, the dirty water tank was absolutely filthy.  

I feel better now.  And all of our furniture is back in place now, thank goodness. And since I like to keep it real, I will admit that my husband did all the work while I did this amidst the mess:

I hope everyone had a great weekend and that you are all lounging around instead of being at work right now.  As for me, I am participating in Fantasy Football for the first time this week (Team HoneyBooBoo for the win!) - wish me luck!

See ya, Swaddle!

The swaddle has been very good to us.  It helped my son sleep through the night since approximately 1 month old, however, all good things must come to an end.  

See the little cut on his head? That was from when they cut into my belly to get him - so horrifying! I found out that my doctor ended up getting fired before my surgery but apparently was given a month or so to figure things out before he left. That's comforting.

As Carter began to outgrow the small/medium SwaddleMes, we decided the habit had to go.  I checked into the size large SwaddleMes at Target and they look like they could fit a toddler! That's embarrassing, so no.

We waited until a Friday night about a week or so ago to start the process since at least there would be no getting up for work the next day, and we expected to be pulling all-nighters.

Night 1: No problems falling asleep, but about 3 nighttime wakings, trouble eating, and trouble falling back to sleep. Lots of under-the-breath cursing from mommy.

Night 2: No problems falling asleep, but about 2 nighttime wakings, no trouble eating or falling back to sleep.  Mommy replaces curse words with hope.

Night 3 and on: No problems falling asleep, one early morning waking (about 5am) and back to sleep until about 7am.  If he sleeps from 8pm-5am, I consider it sleeping through the night since 5am is technically morningtime.  Success!

Seeing my little man in his crib with his arms over his head or a hand in his mouth makes me so happy.  I want him to have that freedom!  I noticed when I put him back to sleep after the 5am feeding, he likes to sleep on his side just like me.  Sometimes he even gets to snuggle in the big bed in the morning.

See ya, Swaddle, you were good while you lasted!

From the Vault... oGorgeous Gym Bag Review

I was going through my posts and realized that there were several that I drafted while pregnant and never posted.  I thought it'd be fun every once and a while to publish such posts "From the Vault".  This particular one cracks me up - I didn't even finish the review and went straight to ranting about my latest gym experience.  I mean, how bratty can I be?

My sister surprised me this week with a late birthday present... my very first gym bag!  I'm usually the type that wears a fleece zip-up over my workout clothes and stuffs my ID card, iPod, and keys into one of the pockets.  This bag is amazing.  I am thinking of using it as an oversize purse because it's just too fun to only wear to the gym.

(Note: I can't find the pictures that I never uploaded, so here are a few stock pictures - I actually got the one in black :))

(Image: Source)

My last gym adventure was eventful.  I am usually very quiet and introverted at the gym.  I don't like to be bothered and I don't like to bother anyone else.  I'm in my zone.  I had the great fortune of being stuck on the elliptical next to a girl watching the Ellen show.  Not only was she watching the show but every few minutes she would start laughing, out loud... very loud. It was distracting and I found myself giving her a dirty look or two before I realized, why does it bother me that she's laughing?  However annoying it may be, at least she's happy and has a smile on her face.  I need to stop taking my gym etiquette so seriously. Sincerely, Cranky Pregnant Lady.

Having More Babies

I've gotten a few "so are you going to have another baby?" questions from friends/family, so I thought I'd share my thoughts.

There are definitely pros and cons to having just one child.  Let's start with the cons.


Cons:

-Carter wouldn't have siblings - this is HUGE to me.  My dad always told me that my sisters were going to be the best friends I'd ever have.  Of course, I ignored this along with all of his other advice, but it has proven to be so true. Friends come and go but family never strays.  My sisters and I still fight occasionally, but they are my blood and I want Carter to have that.  I'd love for him to have a little sister to protect.

-Someday in the future I will get baby fever.
-I wouldn't be able to watch my babies play and interact together.
-There would likely be less grandchildren.

...and that's all I've got.


Pros:

-We wouldn't have to buy an SUV since our dog, us, and the baby fit - it's a tight squeeze (I have to sit in the backseat while the dog rides up front...yeah), but it works.

-Not being poor We'd only have to contribute to one college fund.
-We would be able to stay in our 2-bedroom place.
-We wouldn't have to pay two arms and two legs for daycare (if/when I find a job)
-I wouldn't have to go through pregnancy again (don't hate me!)

In short, yes we want more... in a while.  My baby needs a sibling, but I want to enjoy our first baby for a while and soak up all of his redhead goodness before we decide to bring another one into the world.  My sisters and my husband's brothers are all 2 years apart from each other, so that (or even 3 years) seems perfect.  If we are blessed with another at that time (or really, anytime), we will be very lucky indeed.

If I Had Instagram...

Have a great weekend, everyone!

3 Month Update

Once again, I am late with this update!  I used to wonder how new moms were always so busy since the baby "sleeps all the time" - now I understand... Not only does my baby nap sparingly and erratically, but I spend that time worrying that he will wake up as I run from room to room doing bits and pieces of chores.   There are many days that I have not showered, so yeah, I get it.  I am also still job searching, but I will do a separate post about that.  

As far as his updates, I always go by weeks, so I consider 12 weeks = 3 months.  I did this for pregnancy as well.  I guess most people would go by calendar months, but by weeks, Carter turned 3 months on Tuesday!  He is such a funny little guy and the majority of my days spent with him are filled with laughter.  I call him "judgmental baby" because he has a stank look that he will give you if you're doing something he doesn't approve of.  He still has his fussy periods, but overall he is a sweet baby that has stolen my heart with no chance of getting it back.

Weight/Length: Will find out at his 4 months checkup, but he is at least 12 lbs.!

Clothing Size/Diaper Size: 3 month clothing (not for long!)/Size 2 diapers (note: I've learned that it's time to size up when he starts having blowouts, even if he's still in the size range of the smaller diaper, bigger size = greater absorbency)

Likes: Being outside, riding in the stroller, being held, bathtime, peeing during bathtime, Cloud B Sleep Sheep, kicking around on the changing table, watching Mommy and Daddy cook/clean/walk around, being talked to in a high pitched voice, Fisher Price Infant-to-Toddler rocker, being sung to, watching TV (ALL.DAY.LONG.) - he seriously can't get enough, watching me change or get dressed (pervert), taking naps on Mommy and Daddy's bed, pacifiers.  

Speaking of pacifiers, I've heard rave reviews about the Wubbanub.  It's basically a stuffed animal with the Soothie paci attached, so when it sits on the baby's chest, it won't fall out as easily and I won't be running to the rescue to put the paci back in during naps.  And, I mean, it's SO CUTE and that is the main reason that I buy things, let's be honest.  Fingers crossed that it works!

(Image: Source)

Hates: BOTTLES (whyyyy... seriously!?)

Likes/Hates: Riding in the carseat, tummy time

Milestones: Blowing raspberries, finding his feet (sort of) and... laughing!!!!

Mom Scares: None this month, thank God.  I have, however, had nightmares ever since he was born that I woke up to nurse him and took him back into our bed.  I wake up and feel around the bed for him and freak out.  I sometimes even wake up my husband where Carter is (this got old fast).  This all revolves around my fear of co-sleeping and crushing the baby.  Thankfully I've never actually slept walked him into our bed, but I have had these nightmares for 3 months!  

Happy 3 Months, Carter!

Body After Baby - Recovery (Part II)

Since I'm nearing 12 weeks postpartum, it's time for a quick update.  

Breastfeeding: 

Piece of cake.  All of the pain magically went away at about 4 weeks.

C-Section:

The gross lochia stopped after about 7 weeks and the doctor was right, my scar is no longer raised and it feels a lot... softer? It's still a deep purple color but seems to be healing.  I have been trying to rub this oil on it nightly:

(Image: Source)

Weight:

I mentioned in my first Body After Baby post that I was 5 pounds away from my post-pregnancy weight.  Well, the rest of the weight came off shortly afterwards and then some.  I weigh anywhere from 2-5 pounds under my starting weight, depending on the day.  Does my body look the same?  No. My sweet boy has done some permanent damage (to my boobs and stomach, mainly) and that's okay.  He's worth it 100%.

Random:

I had a crazy intense skin rash for several weeks that nearly drove me to insanity but it went away after about 8 weeks postpartum, thank God!

Well, that's about it.  I am slowly returning to normality over here!

A Day in the Life of an 11 Week Old

I always enjoy reading "Day in the Life" posts, so I figured I'd finally write one since Carter is sort-of getting into a routine.  Here is a sample day...

6:30am: I am either jolted awake by baby cries from the nursery or my body naturally awakens before he starts stirring.  Either way, we're up for a feeding, diaper change, and clothing change from pajamas into a onesie.

7:00am: Carter sits in his rocker and we watch the Today Show while I pump and eat a quick breakfast (whole grain english muffin + peanut butter or jelly).

7:30am-12:00pm: Baby is BORED.  No more TV, time for something else. I typically lay him on my bed while I clean/work on my laptop, lay him on his playmat for tummytime, or feed/rock/cuddle/shush him until he stops crying.  Sometimes I shower if I'm lucky.

(he's judging you...)

12:00pm-12:45pm:  Dad is home for lunch!  We cook lunch and he plays with Carter for a few minutes and lets the dog out.

12:45pm-5:15pm: Baby is BORED AGAIN. More feedings and cuddling/rocking/shushing.  If all else fails, we take a walk outside.

5:15pm-6:00pm: Dad is home from work!  Carter gets his last feeding around 6:00pm and watches us cook dinner from his rocker that I drag into the kitchen.

6:30pm-8:00pm: Time to relax and spend time with Daddy before bed.

8:00pm... on the dot!: Bath + footed pajamas + bottle of pumped milk + swaddle + kisses + prayers from me that he will get a good night's rest = bedtime.

8:30pm-10:30pm: Usually a glass of wine and TV with the husband before we both pass out from exhaustion.

... and then the rest of the night is up in the air - he occasionally wakes up once to feed at either 1:30am or 4:30am, but often he doesn't wake at all and I wake up rested (with majorly sore boobs).  He's doing pretty amazing for being 11 weeks old.

Also, someone sent this link to me about Baby Sleeping Positions and I found it hilarious and so appropriate:

(Image: Source)

2 Month Update

Carter is two months old as of Tuesday!  He is so much fun now and is growing like a weed.  The past week or so has been lovely - he has started sleeping from 8:30pm-5:45am (9 hours!) and I miss him while he sleeps.  I never thought I would miss our late night/early morning nursing sessions, but I do.  I feel like he doesn't need me as much anymore and is growing so quickly!

He also spent an entire week at the beach and was such a good baby.  He can adapt to just about anything, though he hated the cold ocean water.  When his toes touched it, he stuck all his limbs out and screamed bloody murder.  Next time we will have to ease him into it.  Other than that, he either napped in his Boppy or looked at the waves from under a tent, several towels, and a blanket propped up as double protection from the sun (paranoid parents!).  It wore him out!

Weight/Length: 24"/11.2 lbs. [as of 7/16/2012]


Clothing Size/Diaper Size: A few 0-3 clothing items fit, but mainly 3 month now - which we have tons of! /Size 1 diapers all the way!

Likes: Being outside, riding in the carseat, riding in the stroller, being held, bathtime, peeing during bathtime, Cloud B Sleep Sheep, kicking around on the changing table, nursing, watching Mommy and Daddy cook/clean/walk around, being talked to in a high pitched voice, Fisher Price Infant-to-Toddler Rocker, watching TV

Hates: Being naked, napping

Likes/Hates: Pacifiers, napping, tummy time, Fisher Price My Little Snug-A-Bunny Swing

Milestones: Finding his hands (and sucking on his fist all day long!), blowing bubbles/drooling, wearing pants, going to the beach for the first time!

Mom Scares: I set Carter down for a nap in his Boppy Newborn Lounger on the couch and went into my room to quickly pack a few things for our beach trip when I heard him let out a cry.  I ran into the living room and from my angle I could only see the Boppy at first.  And he wasn't on it.  I panicked that he had fallen off of the couch and hit the coffee table somehow but as soon as I turned the corner I saw him facedown on the couch squirming.  He had rolled off, but was safely on the couch.  At ~1.5 months old he is already rolling off of things... crazy!  Mommy learned her lesson and won't be doing that again.

Happy 2 Months, Carter!

A Love Letter to My Top 10 Baby Items

Dear Inventors, Creative People, or Whomever I have to thank:

Few things have made my life easier the last 8+ weeks than the following 10 items... in no particular order.  Most of these items are not particularly ground-breaking, but I thought I'd recommend them for anyone out there who is expecting.


[fun fact - this post took almost 2 weeks to write in numerous sittings while Carter was distracted!  Sorry for the errors and ugly formatting]

1. Cloud B Sleep Sheep

We use the travel size which has a little velcro strap that we hook on his crib.  This little device is used at bedtime for white noise - I'm a believer because Carter has been sleeping through the night with only 1 (occasionally 2) feedings since Week 3.  And now he sleeps 9 hours a night with no breaks!  And we are thankful for that every day.

2.  Summer Infant SwaddleMe

This picture is only a portion of my swaddle collection. These are another part of Carter's nighttime routine.  He sometimes flips out when he is swaddled at first, but it prevents him from startling himself awake at night by flailing his arms.  I don't use it during the day and sometimes when he is napping he flails so hard it wakes him up and makes him cry, which is awful!  He is almost getting too big for the Small/Medium size (7-14 lbs.) but we checked out the Large in Target and it was huge!  He will just have to stretch these for a little longer.

3. Boppy Newborn Lounger

While I'm not a fan of the Boppy nursing pillow, this little pillow is amazing.  My stepsister bought me this and it is a must have.  He can now roll out of it (will write about this Mom Scare at his 2 month update), so I have to be careful, but it's a great place to set him down.  He takes most of his naps in this lounger and I will carry him from room to room in it.

4. Crib pads (any kind will work)

Back when Carter was wetting his bed (before we switched to Size 1 diapers), I'd have to clean him, change his diaper and clothes, and change his sheets almost every night... not fun.  My Mom felt sorry for me and purchased these for us.  They are waterproof yet don't crinkle and are soft enough for him to lay on.  Now if he spits up at night I can just change this pad and I haven't had to change the sheets underneath in about a month (don't judge me).

5. Baby Bath (any kind will work)

I remember my Mom telling me that she used to bathe my sisters and me in the kitchen sink, so I assumed buying a baby bath was unnecessary.  This tub was actually a hand-me-down from a friend, but it has been great for Carter's nighttime bath.  He usually loves the bath now that he can be submerged in warm water.  This one is nice because it has two cupholders for shampoo, water cups, wash rags, etc.  

6. Medela Pump InStyle Advanced / Pump and Save Bags

After a few long stretches of not breastfeeding one weekend, I started worrying about my supply, so I broke out my pump.  I've been pumping 3 times per day (early morning, lunch time, and before bed) to build up a freezer supply and to protect my milk supply.  Pumping was uncomfortable at first, but after the first month of initial nipple soreness, it doesn't bother me.  The bags are pricey, but still cheaper than buying tons of bottles to store your milk.  Also, the bags make it easy to keep track of freshness - I just take a Sharpie and write the date I pumped directly on the bag and then we toss the bags once we finish one (he gets one bottle at night).  I don't usually pump directly into the bags, but have tried it and it works well with the adapter.

7. Onesies (any kind will work)

I thought I'd be one of those Moms that dresses her baby (and herself - but that's a story for another day) up in cute outfits every day.  Well I'm not.  Onesies for the win.  Short-sleeved ones for the day and at long-sleeved ones for the night.  We like the Carter's brand (of course!) but have tried Gerber and other brands as well.

8. Philips AVENT Express II Microwave Steam Sanitizer

When I first started pumping, I was frustrated with the fact that I'd have to clean my pump parts constantly.  Once I learned that I could rinse them off and stick them in this sanitizer for 4 minutes, things got a lot easier. I still wash my bottles/parts in the dishwasher after a few days, but this saves time and kills any germs.  We also use it for his pacifiers.

9. Fisher Price Infant-to-Toddler Rocker

Watching Saturday morning 'toons!

This little rocker is great because it vibrates, so it is supposed to be calming.  It also reclines to more of a bassinet for newborns.  He likes to be sitting up a little more and I can tell he is getting better and better about holding his neck up instead of flopping to the side.  It's super lightweight so I just drag this thing from room to room and he watches me cook, clean, take a shower, etc.  I literally drag it with him still in it - he loves it... right? :)

10. Gerber Flannel Burp Cloths

(Image: Source)

Buy tons of these... we have like 10.  They are thick and sturdy and better than the flimsy terrycloth ones.  Yeah, buy them!

Love, Samantha