Going Back to Work After Baby - Part I

Over the course of 7 months, I have been on several interviews (at least 15), applied to 50+ jobs, and met with 2 recruiters.  I scoured job posting websites, both nationally and locally, stalked former coworkers for leads, and wallowed in my job search woes.

And then one day I got a phone call that brought a job offer.

And I cried.

Not tears of joy, but tears of sorrow.

Tears that I would soon be leaving my sweet baby boy after 5.5 months together.  Tears that my former supervisor replaced me on maternity leave and that I was even in this predicament.  Tears that I would experience a "first day" for the first time in 5 years.  Tears that I might not be good enough or might not do a decent job.  Tears that I might not be liked.  

[and like any rational person, I ran to my computer to email two of my favorite working mommy bloggers and beg for help - Kelly from Mrs. in Training and Lindsay from Baby Mama Drama - therapy, I tell ya]

Then I remembered a quote that I read at some point that went a little like this:

"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Guys, I'm scared.  Terrified, even.  But I'm jumping off the pity party bus and determined to kick ass at this new job.  Never again will I stay 5 years (and who knows how much longer I would've stayed if I could!) at a job where I am unappreciated and treated poorly.  Never again will I work somewhere that guilts me for taking a sick day or utilizing my maternity leave.

Best of all, I've worked with my new supervisor before and LOVED it.  I will have my own office with blinds and a locking door (and plan to do a breastfeeding for working moms post later) and a boss that said "this is your office, you can do what you want".  I will get HUMAN interaction with students and parents and coworkers and not stare at my computer screens all day long.  While those are wonderful perks, the main reasons I went back to work are:

1. MONEY.  My husband makes enough for us to survive, but I want to be able to purchase whatever Carter needs, worry free.  I never want him to know what it's like to worry about money like I did growing up.  I remember once my mom saying to me "I can either pay your dentist bill or Christmas this year, you decide." My Mom did the best she could as a single mother, but I don't want Carter to go through that if I can help it.

2. IDENTITY.  I've always been a career woman with dreams of someday being a stay-at-home mom.  I didn't get two finance degrees and a MBA for nothing.  I am a work-a-holic and crave the satisfaction that work can give.  I would love to be a SAHM if we have another child, but it's not in the cards right now.  Being a SAHM is MUCH more difficult than any office job, so this just might be easier in some regards, and I'm not afraid to admit it.

Am I sad to be leaving Carter? YES. I am heartbroken.  I love him with every ounce of my being.  Am I excited for what the future has in store for him?  YES.  Stay tuned for Part II where I explain why I am putting my son in daycare.

Side note:  This post might not even make sense, excuse me if that is the case.  My posts are few and far between lately as I get into through this transition.  Also, I have a screaming baby to tend to, so see ya next time!

Chocolate Chip Cornbread Cookies

Say what?

Cornbread + chocolate chip cookies?

Weird combination.

Surprisingly delicious combination.

One that was born when I decided I wanted to use up some of the leftover cornmeal I'd bought a week or two ago when I made cornbread.

Enjoy... maybe for breakfast even, just sayin'.

Chocolate Chip Cornbread Cookies

[Adapted from this recipe]

3/4 cup butter, softened (We buy Smart Balance Light Buttery Spread with EVOO)

1 egg

1/4 cup milk

1/2 cup plain yellow cornmeal

1/4 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

1/2 teaspoon salt

2/3 cup sugar

1 1/2 cup flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon vanilla

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. (Fun Fact: I know I'm a grown-up now because I preheat my oven - I used to just stick my food in there and add a few minutes to the time).

2.  Soften your butter in the microwave using 10 second intervals.

3. Mix all ingredients together until moist.

4. Drop by teaspoonful (or larger if you're like me) on a greased baking sheet.  I ended up with 12 cookies.

5. Bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees.

These cookies will only be slightly browned on the bottom and will be somewhat soft.  If you'd like a crunchier cookie, try leaving them in another 5 minutes.

Jumping on the Meal Planning Bandwagon

I used to be one of those grocery shoppers that would hit up Wal-Mart every two weeks only to walk the aisles aimlessly, (usually hungry), throwing whatever looked good and was semi-healthy into the cart.  This amounted to lots of instant rice, pasta, and low-cal microwavable dinners.  Anyone else have the same strategy?  I didn't realize how much processed food I was consuming (um, everything!) and that while cooking from "scratch" was more time consuming, it actually costed less.  My aimless grocery shopping got me through undergrad and grad school, so I can't hate on it too much, but now that I have a family, I decided it was time to make a change.

I started off slowly by planning a few days in advance and just keeping a note on the refrigerator with my "ideas".  These ideas started off with things like Monday: Hamburger Helper; Tuesday: Spaghetti; Wednesday: Pizza.  Like I said, I started slow.

Now, my menu looks more like this:

(Excuse my Mariah Carey-esque butterfly magnet and ugly handwriting, I'm a mom now, ok?)

The page numbers next to each meal correspond to one of our cookbooks.  I found that after trying out too many less-than-desirable blog recipes (no offense), it was easier to stick to an old-fashioned cookbook.  I still use the internet (Yummly is the best!) when I want something incredibly specific, though.  We still have our fair share of straight-to-the-trash recipes (ahem, Monday's soup), but we've gotten better at looking at a recipe's ingredients and preparation methods instead of just judging it by the title.  This method works great because I take one day a week (usually Sunday) to go through the recipes and jot down a grocery list for things that we don't already have to complete the recipes.  Then we head to Wal-Mart (last weekend it was after church) and grab what we need.  Last week we spent ~$100, but it included paper products that should last us about two weeks, so I'd say we were under $100, which I consider a success.  If I need anything fresh for a meal towards the end of the week, we will just run by our local Kroger to grab it that day since Wal-Mart is 15 minutes away.

Cooking healthy and affordable meals gives me a sense of purpose while I am a stay-at-home mom and also something to look forward to each week.

I'm glad I jumped on the meal planning bandwagon and I'm secretly kicking myself for not doing it earlier!