I never understood how controversial maternity leave can be until I was faced with asking for it. I've been at the same employer in the financial industry for 5 years and can probably count on my two hands the number of sick days I have taken. I consider that pretty good given that some of my coworkers call in "sick" when they see a snow flurry. Even when I had weeks of paid sick days saved up, I've always been one of those people who would feel guilty for getting sick and came into the office anyways.
The time came recently for me to ask my boss for maternity leave. Given that I am moving a few hours away to be with my fiance, I highly doubt I will return to this particular job. At least not for a while. My benefits allow for 6 weeks of maternity leave during "pregnancy and childbirth". Since I'm still a full-time graduate student and my due date is literally in the middle of finals week, I figured I would ask for the entire 6 weeks, so that I could get the end of the semester off to focus on school, just to be safe. My contract ends at that point, so since I won't be able to use the leave after the baby is born, I figured I'd use it beforehand.
My boss was not pleased.
In fact, she was very displeased.
As I expected, she proceeded to explain to me that she worked up until a day or two before her due date ("I worked on Friday and had the baby Monday. And that's in addition to driving two hours a day to work."). Well I'm sorry, superlady, but I've decided that I'm entitled to this leave and I'm going to use it. Of course, I kept that part inside and calmly explained that I was still a full-time student and needed to focus on graduation given that only two of three teachers were willing to work with me if I needed to postpone assignments, finals, etc. due to my pregnancy. Working 20 hours a week in addition to school, baby classes, and appointments would be a lot to continue juggling.
Long story short, after much awkwardness and guilttripping, she said that she would "support" me in what I wanted to do. Yet I still feel bad. What is it about using your maternity leave that makes others look at you like a failure? Oh well, I'm taking it and I'm going to enjoy having a bit of downtime before the baby comes, because Lord knows I have a ton of nesting to do... and I need to finish this...
The "pretty corner" of our nursery that is currently 102 miles away at my fiance's place
Anyone else had similar experiences with maternity leave arrangements?
Ugh I'm so sorry to hear you had a bad experience. I really hate how the workforce "pooh poohs" on women when they get pregnant and gripe about maternity leave. It's so unfair and we as woman have every right to use it so don't feel one ounce of guilt. I know it's hard not to but please don't...this is a very special moment in your life and you're entitled to do what you need to do for the sake of your health and the baby's.
ReplyDeleteI hope my employer will be a little more forgiving but he doesn't have a family and doesn't "believe" in marriage/having children so that will be difficult. Thankfully my coworker just had a baby and she said he was cooperative with her maternity leave so that makes me feel a lil better :)
Thanks so much for the support, Shayla :) It makes me sad that your employer doesn't believe in marriage/children... I hope he is cooperative with you too because it'll make it so much easier to enjoy. I'm going to try to enjoy my break because our baby needs a stress-free mama!
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