Carter's Birth Story - Part III

"I think I'm going to need an epidural.  I'm scared it will get worse."  

My pain level was starting to skyrocket and after 14 hours, my body was reaching a point of exhaustion.  I knew that it would be some time before the anesthesiologist would be able to come to my room, so I requested the epidural.  The doctor came much quicker than I anticipated.  He reminded me of the doctor from the movie Knocked Up (actor Ken Jeong) and for some weird reason this comforted me.

(Image: Source)

I remember asking him if I could use the restroom first and he said "you can do whatever you want!"  An odd response after I'd been practically chained to my bed for 14 hours.  When he brought in his huge cart full of supplies, I began to panic.  I remember thinking to myself that I could just tell him to cancel the epidural, that I would be okay.  But I was too embarrassed since he'd already made his way to my room. 

I was terrified, given that several of my friends had told me how excruciating an epidural was.  This was one of my greatest fears of the process.  The doctor asked my husband to pull up the hospital table to the side of the bed.  We placed a pillow on it and my husband put on a hospital mask.  I was told to lay over the pillow/table and not move.  At this point, I was in so much pain and full of fear that I was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably.  I kept telling my husband how scared I was.  I wanted it all to be over.

It hardly pinched.  My doctor was amazing.  I'm serious when I say that I felt a tiny needle prick when he injected the numbing medication but nothing else.  He told me I could yell or scream as long as I didn't move.  I didn't yell, scream, or move, just cried.  Afterwards, he repeatedly told me how well I had done.  The IV I'd gotten earlier hurt 10 times worse.  He told me I'd begin to feel relief within 10-20 minutes, and sure enough, my legs began to feel heavy shortly afterwards.  I was given Foley catheter since I wasn't allowed to get out of bed.  I remember thinking I would've been fine to walk to the restroom, but looking back, it's a good idea they wouldn't let me.

The epidural caused the baby's heartbeat to drop significantly.  They put me on an oxygen mask and we frantically watched the monitors.  I thought to myself, "This is my fault.  I wanted pain medication and now it's going to kill my baby."  Luckily, his heartbeat stabilized and all was well.  I could move my legs but felt hardly any pain.  I told my Mom that before the epidural, I didn't realize how much pain I was in.  After 14 hours, even excruciating pain begins to feel like the new normal.  I silently thanked myself for "giving in" and getting the epidural.

I continued to labor for several hours.  We increased the Pitocin again and again.  Finally medicated, I felt fine and told my husband that I could continue laboring this way forever.  The epidural was blissful... until things started taking a turn for the worse.

My cervix was checked once again.  The midwife "stretched" me to a 4.  A 4!?  After nearly an entire day of labor, I was only at a 4? My heart sank.  To make matters worse, the baby's head was very far down the birthing canal, but it was turned to the side.  My nurses placed me in a very uncomfortable face-down position with one of my arms bent back and the other near my head.  The positions were designed to bring the baby's head to a more favorable position for birth, but they were nearly unbearable.  I had been on oxygen for several hours by this point and instead of making me feel better, the mask seemed to suffocate me.  I panicked at one point, begging my Mom to bring my husband back into the room.  He had gone in the waiting room to eat dinner with my stepfather.

It was around this time that my epidural began to "wear off" on my left side.  I brought it up to the nurses several times and was given extra doses of pain medication to no avail.  I was scared.  At this point, I couldn't move my legs and my body was stuck in an uncomfortable position.  I couldn't go much longer.  When the anesthesiologist's assistant finally came in to check the epidural catheter in my back I was convulsing in pain, sobbing, hanging onto the rails of the hospital bed.  I kept apologizing to her for having to come back and fix my medication, but she said "You're suffering in silence, most people yell at us" - this made me feel slightly less like a wimp.  But nothing could take away the blinding pain that I felt...

(Carter's Birth Story - Part IV coming soon!)